FST 302 Experimental

So! I have a lot to say about Cucalorus, both in what I learned and what I observed. The week started out on a very rocky foot with Dancealorus and some incidents of racism and sexism that I experienced as a filmmaker. Most of the sexism and racism came from a few filmmakers in the filmmaker’s lounge, who were very condescending and loudly spoke against feminism. Dancealorus was also a bit problematic, themes of race and immigration prevalent throughout but not portrayed in a constructive way. There was a lot of culture appropriation, black face, and very insensitive political statements made. The positive to my first night? It reminded me of how the industry is and what my role as a woman of color in it is in letting my voice be heard in order to remedy this. I learned quickly that I needed to change the way I postured myself, dressed, and walked in order to get more recognition and respect. I needed more confidence in myself, and once I started going to events in makeup with my ha...

Our last project of the semester is coming up and it is installation! I'll be perfectly honest here, I have never attempted to do an installation piece before although I really do enjoy seeing them, so this assignment is both a treat but also a fear of mine. I don't want to mess this up! As for ideas, Jake mentioned wanting to have something like a tunnel or enclosure that incorporates beach elements. I pitched the idea of using sheets and shower curtains and hitting them with lights in order to have some cool diffused effects. I think it would be cool to have a soundscape going in the background along with a kiddie pool that we could use with actual ocean water. That, or make some water and sprinkle some salt in it. I have some extra shells that we can even glue to the outside of the pool. I want to use the tealights I purchased for the music video so that they don't go to waste. I'm looking to mostly give my assistance through this process and handle more of the logis...

Note: I posted this update to the wrong blog but had it in before the deadline. Originally posted 11/7/17 I'm pretty stoked for the Cucalorus festival this week! My short "6/2/16" will be screening this week on Saturday at Thalian Hall at 1pm. This will be the first time my short is used as an opening for a feature film - I'm used to screening my films at short blocks. Because of this, I feel like my experience will be a little new, and I actually am wondering what exactly I do in this case. Would I be able to do a Q&A or is it dedicated to the feature filmmaker? Should I still attend? I want to answer these two questions before I go, just so that I don't embarrass myself. I don't think I've attended a feature block with an opening act before either. Should I be honored? What if people hate my film? It is a very personal piece. I regret sending it in! I intend on growing through this experience in my self confidence but also with the idea of being...

I had a surprisingly fun time making my self-portrait and even more in editing. I decided to film everything one night at my boyfriend’s beach house because he had a great bathtub that I thought fit my aesthetic. We filled the tub up with water and spaghetti, hiked the ISO all the way up on my Canon T3i to get a very over-exposed white effect. I wanted my composition to look very heavenly in order to contradict with my inner emotion of vulnerability and anxiety. I think I achieved that effect well, especially since I was trying to emulate the feeling of my disassociation. When it comes to my disassociation, I don’t like to be too open with people about it because it is such a new development in my life that has occurred due to excess stress. But I’m glad that I decided to utilize it as it is a part of me that not a lot of people know about. Moving on, I’m elated to be a part of Parker’s music video group! I am excited to work with such awesomely creative people and as the art director,...

I LOVED the presentation on Marlon Riggs, especially because I am a huge fan of his work in general. It makes me very happy to see Riggs acknowledged, especially because of his background. Black people who are from the LGBT community are usually ignored when it comes to history or art or society in general. His work is poetic and it makes me feel like I am immersed in his world completely whenever I view a movie. I want to create art that carries as much emotion as he does, and work that seems to breathe every second that the film goes on. We need more art that carries the amount of power and tenderness that he had, and it is a shame that the world lost him at such a young age. Su Friedrich was an alright filmmaker. She is the first filmmaker we saw in class that I wasn't too big of a fan of. I felt like she could've done more with her films, either add audio that made them more poetic, and a lot of her images I felt like have been seen before. I like the idea of reflexivity...

I guess I'll start this out by saying I don't have a clue what I want to make for this project. At first I thought I did, and I've had a document of ideas saved up since the second week of school. However, as time went by, and as my hell semester got more hellish, I feel that my personality has been tweaked ever so slightly. I originally wanted to make something that was very introspective, but I realized that I don't want to be vulnerable. Especially after some personal events in my recent life, I do not want to be vulnerable at all. I don't think people deserve to see me, and I mean the actual "me" onscreen. I don't think the world has a right to see my soul and I've gotten a bit repulsed by the idea of a self portrait. But at the same time, I feel like I kind of want to play with the idea of making caricatures of myself. I want to poke fun at what others think of me and what they see me as. Most of these perceptions are negative. That's ok...