Project #2 Ideas and Self Reflection

I guess I'll start this out by saying I don't have a clue what I want to make for this project. At first I thought I did, and I've had a document of ideas saved up since the second week of school. However, as time went by, and as my hell semester got more hellish, I feel that my personality has been tweaked ever so slightly. I originally wanted to make something that was very introspective, but I realized that I don't want to be vulnerable. Especially after some personal events in my recent life, I do not want to be vulnerable at all. I don't think people deserve to see me, and I mean the actual "me" onscreen. I don't think the world has a right to see my soul and I've gotten a bit repulsed by the idea of a self portrait.

But at the same time, I feel like I kind of want to play with the idea of making caricatures of myself. I want to poke fun at what others think of me and what they see me as. Most of these perceptions are negative. That's okay with me. I want to be taken seriously though, and I'm not sure how to find that balance. And truthfully, as a minority, I don't think it matters what I do or how I craft this project, I truly believe that I won't ever be taken seriously. I'm black, a woman, LGBT, extremely young for what I'm doing, and am mentally ill. I feel that I can't win, in terms of if my intent is to make the audience see one side of me or how I feel, it will be trivialized and misinterpreted or dismissed.

The best idea that I have to share right now would be a compilation of clips of me repeating a few of my usual sayings in conversation. These sayings include: "kill me", "suck my dick", "bruh", and "I was minding my own damn business". These will be overlayed with sound effects from appropriated songs and footage. Another idea I have is to make a purely audio self reflection, sampling my breathing and random thoughts I have during my classes.

Briese has a great presentation in class, and if I'm honest, Jan Svankmajer terrifies me. Svankmajer has an aesthetic that isn't exactly my tastes, his color palettes aren't pleasing at all, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching his stop-motion, particularly the claymation. I found his work very calming but also very jarring at the same time. The movement in his films along with some of the figures that he uses look like they almost fall into the uncanny valley. I still enjoyed his creativity though and would totally watch his stuff in my free time.

Comments

  1. silvashanOctober 19, 2017 at 8:36 AM

    I'm actually very excited to see how you let your voice out on this one Gabby. Experimental film is a space that can allow minority voices to speak. Don't miss the opportunity.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Installation Ideas & Presentations

Our last project of the semester is coming up and it is installation! I'll be perfectly honest here, I have never attempted to do an installation piece before although I really do enjoy seeing them, so this assignment is both a treat but also a fear of mine. I don't want to mess this up! As for ideas, Jake mentioned wanting to have something like a tunnel or enclosure that incorporates beach elements. I pitched the idea of using sheets and shower curtains and hitting them with lights in order to have some cool diffused effects. I think it would be cool to have a soundscape going in the background along with a kiddie pool that we could use with actual ocean water. That, or make some water and sprinkle some salt in it. I have some extra shells that we can even glue to the outside of the pool. I want to use the tealights I purchased for the music video so that they don't go to waste. I'm looking to mostly give my assistance through this process and handle more of the logis...
Read more

This Week Signing Off!

This week marks the end to my semester of production classes, experimental projects, and collaborating with others in the department. I found this class in particular to be very fun and educational. I've definitely become a better filmmaker both through the projects we've had to do and the filmmakers we had to present on. This class has exposed me to many experimental filmmakers that I haven't heard of before but I want to use their influence in my work, such as Jen Proctor, Michel Gondry, and George Kuchar. And, if I'm being honest, I took some influence from Marlon Riggs thanks to some of what we saw in class and I added it to my documentary. I wanted to emulate some of the lyricalness of Tongues Untied and in the future, I think I'll borrow some more techniques from the documentary. This class also introduced me to film stock and how important lighting is. I have never worked with film before in my life, and though I don't have an interest in it overall, I ...
Read more

Cucalorus Week Part 2

So! I have a lot to say about Cucalorus, both in what I learned and what I observed. The week started out on a very rocky foot with Dancealorus and some incidents of racism and sexism that I experienced as a filmmaker. Most of the sexism and racism came from a few filmmakers in the filmmaker’s lounge, who were very condescending and loudly spoke against feminism. Dancealorus was also a bit problematic, themes of race and immigration prevalent throughout but not portrayed in a constructive way. There was a lot of culture appropriation, black face, and very insensitive political statements made. The positive to my first night? It reminded me of how the industry is and what my role as a woman of color in it is in letting my voice be heard in order to remedy this. I learned quickly that I needed to change the way I postured myself, dressed, and walked in order to get more recognition and respect. I needed more confidence in myself, and once I started going to events in makeup with my ha...
Read more